Now I’m starting to realize, there’s no one in this world that will love me unconditionally. While I’m alive, there really isn’t anyone who will physically love me or care for me. And it’s such a shame. For that reason I wonder what’s the purpose of even living when no one cares about anybody but themselves?
As I realize I’m losing so many relationships with people that I only wanted to be able to take care of me, love me, and appreciate me, there’s only one relationship that matters most. The relationship with God is so important, because He is the only constant. God’s love is unchanging.
I prayed last night, because I’m really starting to see my life drop right below me. I can barely even live for myself, so how can I even be strong enough to live for someone as wondrous as God? I want to change so bad. I want to stop feeling so weak and sad and vulnerable to the evils in this world. I even begged God to take away EVERYTHING I have left and just leave me with nothing but what matters, Him. I envy those who live for God and not themselves, and wish I could be as happy as them. Because how I’ve been feeling lately has only let the devil get to me and tear me apart piece by piece.