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I love Sundays, the routine is usually always the same. Church, skate, chill.

I’ve been going to church every weekend for the past six weeks now, possibly more. But today’s lesson was the most valuable to me; I connected with it right away. The pastor spoke about going astray in life and one of the examples he gave was about relationships. He said that in a strong relationship/marriage, you will never stop having feelings for that significant other. You just need that “falling in love” moment every so often. And ya know, that really made me think of my relationship with Praise. I love him, and I make sure to tell him that every day. I wanna say that we’re no matter what because my feelings for him won’t go away. Sure, I can be mad but it’s only temporary. I am absolutely in love with this guy, and there are some days that I fall harder for him everytime.

Well anyways, back with what happened today. After service, we got shave ice. This picture is of me and CJ with our rootbeer/strawberry shave ices :) Nice combo that I copied off of CJ, LOL.

We went to Ala Moana for lunch, and eventually went over to A’ala. It was blazing hot over there. I would go back and forth, sit at the skatepark, hide out in the car, and repeat. Soon enough, the boys and I went to APB to check out some stuff. Then we dug out to head to their home park, Manana. But when we were heading over, there were dark, ominous clouds. And by the time we actually got to the park, it poured. I had fun though, and I guess Praise had some fun ;) I like when it’s just me and him for a little bit; that’s all I ask: just some time to ourselves.

By 4:30, we left the park and went towards Mililani to check out Ross. I bought Praise a pair of converse he wanted. Not too shabby. I was on a mission to buy clothes for work, but found nadda. We ate at McDonald’s after our trip to Ross. That was one of the funniest experiences I’ve had at Mickey D’s. From Praise trying to eat my snack wrap, to hearing some twisted music that was playing, tickling Praise to death and then getting bitten by him, and Praise spitting water straight at little CJ’s face. LMAO. Priceless.

Today was a good Sunday, like always. Glad I didn’t waste it as a lazy day.

I miss church Sundays :,(

(Nov 5, 2011 @ Bravo’s)

(Nov 5, 2011 @ Bravo’s)

Now I’m starting to realize, there’s no one in this world that will love me unconditionally. While I’m alive, there really isn’t anyone who will physically love me or care for me. And it’s such a shame. For that reason I wonder what’s the purpose of even living when no one cares about anybody but themselves? 

As I realize I’m losing so many relationships with people that I only wanted to be able to take care of me, love me, and appreciate me, there’s only one relationship that matters most. The relationship with God is so important, because He is the only constant. God’s love is unchanging. 

I prayed last night, because I’m really starting to see my life drop right below me. I can barely even live for myself, so how can I even be strong enough to live for someone as wondrous as God? I want to change so bad. I want to stop feeling so weak and sad and vulnerable to the evils in this world. I even begged God to take away EVERYTHING I have left and just leave me with nothing but what matters, Him. I envy those who live for God and not themselves, and wish I could be as happy as them. Because how I’ve been feeling lately has only let the devil get to me and tear me apart piece by piece. 

"I will thank the Lord at all times. My lips will always praise him. I will honor the Lord. Let those who are hurting hear and be joyful. I looked to the Lord, and he answered me. He saved me from everything I was afraid of. Those who look to him beam with joy. They are never put to shame. Do you love life and want to see many good days? Then keep your tongues from speaking evil. Keep your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil, and do good. Look for peace and go after it. The Lord looks with favor on those who are godly. His ears are open to their cry. The Lord doesn’t look with favor on those who do evil. He removes all memory of them from the earth. Godly people cry out, and the Lord hears them. He saves them from all of their troubles. The Lord is lose to those whose spirits have been crushed. Anyone who does what is right may have many troubles. But the Lord saves him from all of them. The Lord sets those who serve him free. No one who goes to him for safety will be judged.” - Psalm 34:1, 2, 4, 5, 12-19, 22 (NIRV)

My honey boi.